Can Getting A Divorce Make You A Psychopath?

Coming from a person currently going through a divorce, I know first hand that divorce is hard, to say the least. The divorce process along with its long-term side effects is a major stressor that has been known to cause psychological and physical health problems in many people.

A divorce involves an emotional and legal separation of marital bonds, negotiations of custody and financial arrangements and an establishment of a new lifestyle. In addition, because most women continue to be the custodial caregiver of the children, many fathers must cope and adjust to being the non-custodial parent. Given this list of major life changing events, it is no wonder that divorce causes emotional, physical and financial trauma to most couples. 

According to the Journal Of Family Issues, after experiencing a divorce, the non-custodial parents are more likely to engage in harmful and reckless activities more often than the divorced custodial parents. Divorced men in particular, show higher rates of automobile accidents, alcohol abuse, diabetes, heart disease and mental illnesses compared to married men.

Life After Divorce, Mastering The Balancing Act

Couples that choose to get a divorce when there are children involved face added challenges. The process of divorce, in of itself, can be emotionally damaging and if not addressed properly can leave long lasting wounds. Children are especially vulnerable to developing resentment, guilt and an unhealthy perception of family life that can stay imprinted on them through their adult life. 

It is important that both parents make their children's emotional well-being a top priority and protect them as much as possible from the bitter effects of divorce. The best way to do this is by modeling the behavior that you want for your children to follow. Children will soon grow to understand that, in life, it is inevitable to experience unexpected and unwanted change, failure and other life altering situations. It is our job as parents and adults to teach and provide a blueprint of the route to take in order to best conquer those challenges and grow from the experiences.

Remember to keep your support system close to you and don't be afraid to reach out to them when your feeling overwhelmed. Friends and family that love and support you can provide you with a more balanced approach to the way that you perceive your experiences. They can also provide an escape from the day-to-day hustle and bustle, giving you time to release and recharge.

As a newly divorced single parent you must master and effectively implement the art of the "balancing act." Managing the stress of rebuilding after divorce, along with the added responsibility of being a single parent providing structure, guidance and a stable and happy home can seem like an unrealistic task at first sight. The good thing about this is when you understand the balancing act, you can rebuild bigger and better, while at the same time, providing your children with the loving tools to thrive in adulthood.

By far the best ways to develop a solid balancing act is through prayer and meditation. Dedicating just 10 minutes a day to prayer and meditation can change the way you make decisions and how you decide to experience life situations. They are both powerful tools used to teach you how to quite negative chatter, calm your mind and by association release stress and tension. When your mind is calm, your vision becomes clear. You can see what is important to you and realize what you can do without. With a clear vision and spiritual guidance you will be better equipped to choose a goal and plan a realistic path to reach your goal, while at the same successfully maneuvering the balancing act and raising balanced children.

Interesting Facts About Yoga

Yoga is one of India's six great ancient philosophies. Modern science has further defined yoga as an Indian science that concerns itself with the search for the soul and its union with the individual. In other words, yoga seeks to find wholeness and once achieved will lead to strength, vitality and peace of mind.

There are six distinct types of yoga with Hatha Yoga being the most popular and familiar one practiced in Western culture. Below, I have given brief descriptions of each type:

HATHA YOGA

Known as the "forceful path", this is the yoga of physical well being and is used as a physical therapy. It consist of postures, breathing exercises, nerve control, mind control, meditation and spiritual enlightenment.

RAJA YOGA

Known as the "royal path" and is used to develop mental discipline through concentration and meditation. It consist of moral discipline, self restraint, posture, breathing, meditation, sensory inhibition, concentration, and ecstasy.

KARMA YOGA

Known as "enlightenment through work or action" and is used to lesson our natural tendencies to desire. This type of yoga guides us to spiritual freedom through the discipline of work that is selfless and a service to others.

BHAKTI YOGA

This type of yoga seeks to cultivate an open heart and helps one to develop selfless love and devotion to our Higher Power.

JNANA YOGA

This type of yoga helps one to develop the discernment and wisdom to recognize the real from the unreal or true happiness from simple pleasure.

TANTRA YOGA

This type of yoga helps one to recognize that there is no gap between the world and our Greater Power and that our Greater Power can be found in everyday existence.

Hello Peace, Welcome Back...

There was a time when I felt like my life was turned upside down. I had so many obstacles coming in my direction at one time: divorce, single parent to a toddler, increased bills and less money, bankrupt business, loss of a close friendship... Wow, that takes energy just thinking about it and when all of this came crashing at me at once, I completely lost balance and damn near my sanity.
These life experiences have taught me that we all have to go through obstacles in life, but the effects of them is based on how we react to them and if we can maintain a life balance. If we loose our balance and faith, its almost impossible to have a positive outcome. As parents, we don't have the option of a negative outcome and what happens to us, also happens to our children.

A few things that I had to implement into my life to regain my balance and avoid the insanity route were:

• Prayer- I simply talk to God everyday to maintain a close relationship. I would have definitely went the insanity route without it.
• Meditation-It is mandatory that I have at least 30-minutes each day of quiet time for meditation. (It is an enforced rule in my house that my son dare not break, although he hates it). I usually do "guided meditation" because it forces me to relax, clear my mind and listen. I would suggest this type for those that are new to the meditative experience. I can honestly say that meditation has changed my thought process, my mood shifts, my parenting skills and my general outlook on life. It is the main tool (besides prayer) that I use to help clear my mind of the garbage and help me to focus on what is important. It helps me find balance... I have found that when I have a clear mind and vision, I can conquer almost anything and life challenges are just that, life experiences that must be conquered in order to succeed.
• Reading- I am a huge reader. I love all kinds of books and will sometimes read up to 5 at a time. I want to indulge the mood that I'm in, so, usually 1 of those 5 books will do it. When I need a lift, I will read something inspirational or spiritual. If I need a laugh, I will read something with humor...It helps me to clear my mind and release the days tension.
• Exercise- I, sooo, don't like to exercise, but fortunately, I force myself... for one, to maintain my girlish figure, second, it makes me feel good. If I start exercising when I'm in a bad mood, by the time I get off of the tread mill, I'm a completely different person. A happier person. 
• Play- I have a very energetic 5 year old boy that enjoys playing with Monster Jam monster trucks and Super Mario Bros on Wii, just to name a couple. When we play together, nothing else matters and any stress that I had before is gone when I see the happiness in his face.

So, there you go... Just a few things that I do to maintain my well-being.

Below, I have included a few books that helped me find my way during my journey:

Be At Peace

Life with children tends to carry with it the natural element of "noise and chaos". It is part of the beauty of parenthood... Our children keep us young, resilient and bring a new component of purpose to our life. On the other hand... These elements that our beautiful children bring into our lives can also make us feel as though we are loosing our minds. So, my question is can you find the silence within the noise? Can you find the peace within the turmoil? If you cannot reflect in the noise and chaos of the moments, withdraw. Make time for yourself...

Below I have included a link to a great article from Readers Digest by Michael Castleman on 37 Stress Management Tips: Alternatives to Anxiety. Enjoy!

http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/37-stress-management-tips/article14565.html


Kristy C.

Guided Meditation

I was introduced to meditation as a college student about 10 years ago. At the time, I didn't completely embrace the practice and only took the course because it was mandatory for my type of degree. How foolish of me...

A few years ago, I stumbled upon a youtube.com video on guided meditation and decided to give it a try. Since that day, I have done some extensive research on meditation techniques and the benefits.

Through the years, I have come to understand that meditation is more than just a practice, it is a way of living and something that can be life altering if done correctly and consistently.

Meditaion has the ability to instantly help you to become more focused, more mentally powerful and better able to create a successful, happy and balanced life. If you incorporate some simple meditation techniques into your daily life, you will be healthier, happier, more purposeful and more capable of creating the life you desire to have for yourself.

There are several types of meditation, many that I practice myself. However, one of my preferred is "guided meditation". With this type of meditation, you are able to listen to the outside source while they walk you through each phase of the meditative experience.

Above I have included a short video that will teach you simple guided meditation and focused breathing. This video is good for relaxation and mental focus. Enjoy...